( * applicable only in India )
Long back I had read this story in a Kannada comic book.
A thief is chased by palace guards. He keeps running, helplessly searching for shelter. It would not be feasible for him to run more and escape from guards,he feels. Settles down under a tree near by, smears mud paste on his forehead, covers his body with an orange gown,wears a fake beard and closes eyes as if he is meditating.
Guards without recognizing him, go empty handed. And here near the tree, a small group of devotees starts to offer him food, worship him. The thief starts lecturing on honesty,love and devotion. He becomes a ‘Baba’ as he saves peoples lives coming in their dreams, serving the poor,feeding hungry , speaking about love and blessing his devotees.!
Story may be very old, but it is the essence which remains fresh and globally applicable.
Cricket, Politics, Movies and Religion.
Enter any of these fields and be successful, you will get media coverage and loads of money. This is going to be the truth for centuries to come. There will be huge fan following you and your every mistake is either forgiven or neglected grossly.
Out of all the above mentioned areas, Religion is one connecting force for the rest. You want to win a match against Pakistan, then pray. You want your favoured candiadate to win , again pray. If you want to save your power seat, perform Yagya or visit temples. From shooting first scene till the time you release the movie you will keep praying to all the gods. Human beings are sinners as everyone say and to “purify” themselves they will again go for doing tough religious rituals.
You see, how powerful Religion is ? and how wide is the scopr for it?
If there is a face for Religion ? someone who can cure your chronic disease, who can get you, your lost seat? Who can save you from all the odds ? This essentially means if there is a GODMAN?
I personally, am against Anthropolatory ( Human worship, Vyakthi Pooja). Any human being is vulnerable for six proven adversaries namely Kaama,Krodha,Lobha, Madha,Moha and Matsarya (Ari shadwarga). No human being can overcome these, none can be perfect which is why I feel, any human being at the maximum could be respected but never be worshipped. I don’t belive in offering pooja to Babas,Gurus or Swamys. Moreover, its not a good idea for them to claim godmenships too.
I have somehow, for fun,listed here the qualities those can make an ordinary man into powerful Godman. A person who can not save himself from anything natural, can claim doing unnatural things, creating anything from air in the name of spirituality.
It happens only in India.
Before doing anything,change your name, whatever it be. Suresh, Ramesh, Sam, Akram or Banta singh whatever. Search from old scriptures, for Sanskritized words which relate to love or peace or harmony. Make sure it is unique and lengthy. Let the name be neutral it should not have any glimpse of religion you represent. This will make sure that you have devotees from other side of your religion. Be very cautious to chose your name. For the centuries to come you will be addressed with this name, so spend some good amount of time here.
First quality that has to be had by any “Godman” candidate is excellent oratory. Dispatching speeaches with catchy words/phrases with little sense of humor can turn anyone into an ardent devotee. So command over the language ( particularly English, as India is multi lingual nation) is very much essential. Topics for lectures usually should include love or peace, charity or fraternity or unity.
Get a theme and deliver your speeach with meaningful and crisp sentences.
Read scriptures of every religions (like story books).They will give you enough “content” to lecture.Remember interesting anecdotes and the context to use them. This usually make your so called devotees think that you know lot of things about religions. This will also make your secularist views come front ( which would fetch you some more devotees from politics at least).
As you start getting donations, don’t start your investment for personal benefits immediately. You will lose the battle soon. So first identify the critical complication around your surroundings. Chalk out a budget for that task to materialize. Usual complications include and not limited to, water problems, shelter for the non priviledged class or cleaning any infamous dirty area.
Contacts are very important. You should be very wise enough to develop relationship with known figures,keeping neutrality though. Movie stars, Cricket stars , politicos are the usual targets, have foreign contatcs too. They are later potential donors for your “religious” adventures ,as color of any money related to religion is always “white”. Invite your contacts for all your charity works to inaugrate or public gathering.These exercise will let you, known to the rest of the public through media, you will be international figure in case if you have foreign contatcs. Sport a smile always, speak softly and be nice with media, keeping a low profile.
Now here is the important one.
Learn some magic tricks. Yes ! if you cant, you are no different than street side astrolger. This is the defining one for you. You need not be one amongst Houdinis or Sarkars. Simple tricks like getting things out of no where would make you look more attractive. You can practice and master them. Wear always long gowns to cover your loopholes. First try with small items like ash powder, petals or some rings. Then you can switch to bigger things like Golden watch, Silver Linga. Beware ! never get caught, or never fail to execute your tricks. Practice can make you achieve this. Be modest when your so called devotees get surprised. Act like it was no big deal for you to create them out of nothing. After all you are born with these powers.
Remember this saying,
You can fool SOME, ALL the time.
You can fool ALL, SOME time
But you CAN’T fool ALL, ALL the time.
There will be some odd people who might question you, testify you or challenge you. But always remain calm. You can deal with them offline with some “Gandhi Notes” or usual statement of spiritualism not being able to get proved by pure or applied science. Moreover you have your ardent fans now, who can handle those “odd” guys , just wink at them ;).
How can one come in dreams? That too when you are not as attractive as Hrithik or Kareena? How can you cure chronic diseases challenged by medical science? This is the last task you should achieve before you claim your “GODMANSHIP”.
You are already popular. Give away some “Gandhi Notes” to some families and discuss with them offline. Allow a person who is confided by you to have you in his dreams. Script a heart whelming story which can connect you to common man and his agonies. Let this person appear in a public gather especially when media is present. Once whole of public is informed about you coming in said person’s dreams and curing his cancer ( again spend some “ Gandhi Notes” to create medical certificates ), you will start appearing in everyone’s dream. India is populous country and many of them have some or the other disease, agony. If they start dreaming of you daily, atleast there will be one day when you cure them of their disease or solve their problem.
After all, a stopped clock too shows right time twice, daily
Never do a Nithyananda ( sex scandal ), never do a Radia ( 2G Corruption Scandal ), never do a Amar singh ( doctoring a CD ) for your benefits. Even if you do, no problem Don’t get caught.! Even if you get caught, spend some “Gandhi Notes” with a solid scripted story which proves your innocence.
Once you ensure all this, one fine Friday morning, claim “GODMANSHIP”.!
After all its INDIA with 35 million Gods. They would love to have one human GOD.
Long way to go….! Love all ..serve all !
