Why those 18 days are important in my LIFE….?

Have you ever lead a saint’s life? Have you ever wondered watching this world in a simple way? Have you ever tried being divine?

Well, it was same life for me. Monotonous mechanical life. The life measured in terms of lines of codes, in terms of money, in terms of responsibilities, in terms of time, in terms of ruefulness… What has happened with me? I never planned for such a life but still Life threw things at me…. I was in no terms to accept that, it’s just because I feel I did not deserve …

It was in December, one of the coldest months of Bangalore. I decided to do something for myself. What shall I do ? Holiday break? Change the job? or Cry? I was watching MTV roadies 6.0- being adventurous??

What is being adventurous?
It’s a state of mind where you will do something NEW and DIFFICULT and once you achieve the task your CONFIDENCE gets BOOSTED…!
Hmm, thought to myself, I should do something which boosts my confidence back.

Shabarimala is Lord Ayyappa’s abode. Every year lakhs of pilgrims visit the holy place. Lord Ayyappa, according to mythology, is believed to be born with union of Lord Vishnu and Lord Shiva .Later he went on to kill demon Mahishi thus obliterating unrighteousness. He is a symbol for austerity. Also he is icon for unity, knowledge and discipline.
Visiting Shabarimala is a great adventure I felt. The temple is located on a hill with holy eighteen steps which mark eighteen milestones in a man’s lifeterm to be achieved. Any one who wants to visit the temple and get the “Darshanam” of the lord stepping on these eighteen steps must observe a “Vritham” of self denial of worldly pleasures.

Let me give you brief insight of this Vritham.The Vritham must be observed by getting permission from one’s parents and Guru ( The person who has visited Lord’s abode 18 times observing Vritham) .The day before Vritham the devotee has to shave ,clip his nails , trim his hair , take a bath and must pray his family deity . And on the day of Vritham the holy garland (made of Ocimum sanctum, Tulsi) will be offered to devotee by his Guru. Wearing this mala signifies that the devotee has become Lord Ayyappa and must lead a pious life. The devotee must keep away from all social activities and must keep himself involved in bhajans, visiting temples, cleaning temples, helping the poor and sick and attending religious courses. He must eat only vegetarian and must abstain from meat, physical or verbal violence, alcohol, tobacco and intoxicants in any form. The devotee must sleep on floor and must walk bear feet. The devotee must be humble, respectful, and patient and serve people in every way. The devotee must treat women in a gentle way and strictly follow celibacy. He should keep away from evil thoughts. Everyday he should pray to Lord and beg for pardon for any mistakes he has committed knowingly or unknowingly.

Sounds interesting? Isn’t it…?

For 18 days from Dec 28, I observed Vritham with utmost sincerity. Getting up at dawn, having cold water bath, visiting near by Ayyappa temple, smearing the sandalwood paste, praying. Walking bear feet on Bangalorean street . It was tough to keep myself aloof from non vegetarian food . But I did . Avoided all F, S words. No boyish works anywhere (was tough one indeed). Attended the office, avoided orkut, and avoided all sorts of chatting. You know it was strange experience, in office campus, employees were fully dressed and I was going bear feet. But most of the employees got it . A foreign employee too started noticing and I guess he too was convinced later. Kept my meals and intake of food limited. I used to take cut fruits for breakfast and few chapattis in noon for lunch and would avoid dinner. And back from office, bathed and prayed at home and slept on mat.

Before I went to sleep I would analyze what I did that day, how I used to be before Vritham and how could I be in future. And would pray again for any mistakes and would sleep. Weekends I would spend time reading some technical stuff and sleeping.


The day arrived.The 18th day, Jan 15, we headed towards Shabarimala.The team consisted of 8 people . My guruswamy, his relatives and me. Guruswamy’s uncle aged 79 too was with us . We started off at 11 or something in the noon from Bangalore. We reached Erumalai which is in Kerala , next day morning 1 a.m. via Tamilnadu. Eruamalai is one more hill station where one can see Vavar swamy ‘s mosque. (Vavar Swamy was a Muslim devotee,history says he was defeated by Lord Ayyappa and since then they were friends ) The place is significant for first timers who are called Kanni swamy who are respected by all. I enjoyed getting all attention and other swamies even touched my feet. ( They say Kanni swamy is very much loved by Lord Ayyappa) . In Eruamali, we are supposed to enter Vavar swamy’s mosque , offer our prayers there, followed by one interesting custom. Everyone will color their faces and dance while an artist plays a tom-tom. We took bath in a river near by, smeared sandalwood paste and again started our journey to Shabarimala.

We reached Pampa ( a pious river , at the bottom of Shabarimala ) at morning 3:30 a.m. We took a holy bath then smeared sandalwood paste again followed by a prayer. There were thousands and thousands of people on the bank. So many vehicles and so much of arrangements, ambulance, police, fire workers so many of them. Then we started our journey towards temple on shabarimala by walk covering 5 k.m. The path is too bad. Its steep and one has to be very strong. It is rough , rocky and sloppy. One has to have the holy “Mudi” ( a bag consisting of coconuts, rice and ghee for lord as offerings , should never be let on floor ) on his head , a bag ( containing food , water or any medicines,dress ) hung on shoulder and must walk bear feet . Dhoti too was adding to trouble. But one has to keep moving, whatever be the situation. Rough way, so many things on shoulder-head , bear feet and a long way to go. Isn’t the life similar? We chanted hymns, called out slogans and were moving. There was a huge rush. Lakhs of people . We managed to reach by 10:30 a.m.

The place was all under surveillance, thanks to terrorist threats. Guards with A.K.47s , stun guns seemed completely out of context. I stepped upon each of 18 steps, touching them too . I turned my face back to see so many people in queues , waiting to step on these steps and I felt very much relieved to be able to come so far. Then I had to see the idol of the lord , for which so many people come like crazy doing all these tough rituals.
There were sharp shooters , home guards fully armed .

Shreekanth swamy ( gurus swamy’s brother ) then took me to a queue , where people were less in number (It was some odd queue ) , I was getting closer to sanctum sanctorum (Gharbha griham) . I saw the idol. Oh my god..! It was my best moment. The idol was small and well decorated. The sacred room was beautiful and was lit. Priests were chanting hymns and were pouring ghee on the idol. I forgot to pray. My eyes were wet. ..!

I did not want to move, but home guards pushed me. My time was over. I drooped my shoulders and came out of the queue which directs us out of the place . Shreekanth swamy asked me “ Swamy care to see the idol again ? ” . I was horrified. That question means lot of things. Come out of the present queue; join one more queue bypassing all the sharp shooters, home guards . It was height of insanity. But I did.

Skipped the current queue, in the grand day light, under sharp shooters’ noses ( they had long guns , I tell you its scary ) and joined the same odd queue again. Home guards rushed towards us, but we were gone in the myriads of devotees. I watched the idol. I fell in love with it . The small Golden Ayyappa idol and me .

We were lucky chaps to watch the lord two times. But some times I feel guilty that I shouldn’t have bypassed the queue and hence not following the Vritham in traces.
You know if you follow all the rules, you will miss some fun.


Swamiye sharanam Ayyappa